Pain, pleasure and everything in between (Part 1)

imageI sat by the sidewalk on the staircase that led up to the front door as I waited for her confirmation text. While at it, I made up a make-up playlist that would be playing in the background as we had our dinner with the candles lit and everything. I had really gone out of my way on this one. From John Legend to Sam Smith and across the genders to Adelle. Sunset was soon approaching yet she hadn’t done as much as send a please call me text. This was very worrying as she had warmed up to the idea only that she didn’t know how if her schedule would allow it.

For the longest time, we have had issues but we always knew it was because we cared about each other. The feelings cut both ways. They either sting like hell or make you fell all mushed up inside. Finally, the text came as I was finalizing the playlist. Perfect timing. She said she had one last loose end to tie up then she’d come over with the drinks. I was fresh out of refreshments and I delegated that to her since the shopping center was quite a distance from the house.

It was the first time she was coming to our home and I was super nervous. I even cleaned up places that were never cleaned before. The problem with having a girl that comes from a different social circle from you is that you never know what is beneath her or at what point exactly you are trying too hard. Everything was squeaky clean just before sunset. By the time the bell rang, it was just after the Swahili news and the shitty local programming had just begun. I quickly switched to the playlist I had created earlier and walked into a mist of cologne and rushed to the door. I regained my composure and sighed as I opened the door.

She was the most beautiful sight to behold that evening. The dress she had put on hugged her body just right. She came in the black dress I had always wanted her to wear to dates but she always felt restricted. She was a free spirit. I had come to terms with that at least. As I closed the door I realised her dress was bareback. She had no bra to speak of and her bouncy tits played behind her dress and looked like they were straining too hard to hold it in place. We talked over dinner and laughed at the silly old jokes and the fun times we had together as Luther Vandross played in the background. The evening unwound just fine and I started thinking what my friends were telling me was right. The fire may have been blown out but the coal still burned red.

Half the time she talked I kept staring at her smile as she told me about how her day at school was and how some lecturer had bullied her because of the little dress she had worn during the day. Small talk was blissful but I dreaded the moment we would have to talk things over. That was the main agenda for today after all. I took the plates to the kitchen and gave her flute glass a refill of the Drostdy-Hof Cape Red 2000 she had brought. She had quite the taste in wine and men, to say the least.

Her thighs glistened in the candle light and the fresh smell of her distinct cologne rent the air. It was clear to me now why she had taken so long. The loose ends looked tied up just how I liked them. We tweaked the playlist a bit and put on some slow jams we could dance hand in hand to. She had always been good with her waist and the gyration never stopped on the dance floor. She lay her head on my chest and she lowered my hand to just above the ass. I slowly drifted with the music and my hand rested right on top of her ass.

The speech I had prepared and everything I had planned got flushed down from my brain alongside the blood and everything went to the other head. She felt the bulge and pulled herself back. I reeled her back in by the waist and kissed her so hard she had no time to prepare or much less, catch a breathe. She looked puzzled but she played along. The last time we had talked there wasn’t much talking. It was more of shouting and very little listening if any. I of all people should have known better than to shout. Probably nobody was right. The volume of the little discussion we were having didn’t make any of us right but it was one big way of venting.

She stopped kissing and hit her forehead very hard on my chest like one in regret. All I could do at this point was hold her tight and not let go. I could feel my shirt moisten with her tears and I held her even tighter. She never deserved all the shit I put her through anyway. I didn’t even believe I was capable of the things I did. For all of those days, I never returned the calls. For the moments I never stopped to cherish or remember. All the moments that led up to this fallout.

The pain of seeing her cry ripped my beating heart right out of its cage. At this point feeding it to the dogs would not purge my gross iniquities one bit. I needed to be vindicated. I needed to make things right. I had been in the doghouse long enough. I needed to come back to the heart that I had hurt. The heart that I used to call home….

Read Part 2 here. Enjoy!

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