Life felt like it was coming to a halt. It is unbelievable how one person was can come into your life and for a moment all seems perfect. You suddenly see why it was never working before with anyone else. You spiral so deep down into that rabbit hole that can easily be a wormhole. It takes you into a different dimension with every thought and touch. Time suddenly moves too fast and life seems to pass by without notice. You become so dependent on this and it becomes a part of your soul. It eats into you like cancer that you only realize when it’s too late. No amount of therapy can get you off this.
With every passing day, her love was turning into hate. Every time she thought of how filthy his actions were she irked. A heartbreak is a slow death that no one deserves. She had put everything into this relationship and such investment can be hardly recovered once lost. Funny how love eternal can turn into furious hate in a heartbeat. His moments of weakness were too many. Forgiveness at this point would only be for her own good. It would lift off her chest the burden of hate without diminishing the great lesson she had learned through it all.
She wanted him to get out of his head so bad but every time she avoided the thought, the more she revisited it. She wished him dead at some point. For some reason, she’d have rested easier if some befitting punishment was given to him.
Today, however, was different. Death was too easy for him. The death she sought for him was not physical. She wanted to see him burn from inside out as it consumed his soul and tormented him for the eternity their love was always meant to last.
Deep down she knew this was a fairytale that would never happen though. But a girl can dream. Love and war seemed alike to her. She loved him to death and fought every day to keep it alive. There is a danger in loving somebody too much. She was however helpless. Love is an endless act of forgiveness. No promises of happiness but a promise that someone would be there through it all.
She would never have this anymore. At least not with him. He had his eyes elsewhere but she was almost sure his heart was where home was. But for how long would she keep up the wishful thinking? How long would she put herself second to everyone else? It was time for self-love…